My beloved Pastor of 15 years went to Heaven last month. I can’t believe it’s been that long. Thank God he’s no longer suffering but in the arms of his Saviour, never to feel any more pain.
I went back to church after a long respite, and as always it was wonderful. God is still working in our church, and has never left one need unmet. Still there’s a vacant hole in my heart where my beloved Pastor used to reside. Knowing he won’t be there to welcome me, to encourage me with his sound wisdom no matter what the reason, even to give me a gentle but loving rebuke for not printing the bulletin properly, it just seems so hard. When he died, he left this need unmet, namely, my personal affection for him that is now just a memory. I miss him so much.
I wanted to go in his office today to just relive a few memories… waiting in his chair until he finished his bit on the bulletin, being offered a piece of candy just because he loved to give things to people, and many other precious memories that will always remain in my heart. He would arrive there on Saturday mornings in all kinds of weather, rain or shine, snow or heat, to write out his own Pastor’s Corner. It was one of his characteristics.
I wanted to stand there before his desk and soak it all in. I saw his office, as I called it, the “Holy of Holies,” so to speak. But all the memories are gone, and it is now an empty shell, all that’s left of a life that was lived for God and now is flown away. What once housed a man of God who prayed to God for power and wisdom before every service and wept unashamedly for the lost is now just an empty room, cold and lifeless. Yet I know it will once again house another man of God who has just as much fire and fervent love for the Lord as my beloved Pastor had. Yet, it will never be the same.
Here’s to 15 years of service in the house of God. I miss him, but I know I will see him again very soon.
“Oh Lord, You have shown us that death is but the gateway to a more glorious life, and that we must not fear its coming. Again, assure us that our departed comrade is not a loss to us, but is now sharing a new life with You in Your glorious Kingdom. We all understand that in time, we will be reunited with our departed comrade who is with You right now.”